Rock

Rock. If you don't like rock music chances are we aren't friends. We may have talked once but I always ask about music so that was probably the last time we will ever talk. 

Unless you said you like rock music in which case I probably named off a few bands to see how you reacted to each and see what kind of rock music you like. For example Evans Blue, Five Finger Death Punch, Disturbed, Tool, Metallica, Kansas, AC/DC, Volbeat and numerous others. Depending on which you know I would then ask what's your favorite album by them and then song.

I take my music very seriously. Like I think all people should. If you don't like the same music as some one how can you even interact with them? To me it is nearly impossible because music is a big deal to me.

I like cranking my music up loud and letting the whole world know what I'm listening to. You have to take pride in the music that takes months sometimes years to make. You don't see that much time being put into a lot of the music that is around today. It kind of really frustrates me that you don't even need to write your own music anymore. You just need to be good at playing it or singing it. There isn't much talent in a lot of the popular music.

At least that is my opinion 

If I were to die

If I knew I was going to do in the possibly very near future, I know exactly what I would do.  

I would grab my fishing pole, knife, boots, and flint and steel and head up into the mountains. I would find a lake and fish and fish and fish. I would just go camping for a few weeks and make a shelter in the woods. I have always wanted to do this! 

Maybe grow a gnarly beard and tame wild animals I don't know let's see what happens! Maybe come back into town riding on the back of an elk because why not?! 

Problem is I know I'm going to die in the near future I'm bed ridden and all I have to escape is what ever I can imagine. A trip to the moon or a far off galaxy! Maybe I find myself ruling the great nation of Rome and conquering lands that have beasts out of legends. Maybe I'm a wizard or a barbarian or a rat but whatever it is I want to do I can. I'm bed ridden I'm dying but I still can escape. I know exactly what I would do. 

The heart wants what the heart wants but it's never enough. 

Tripping

It always scares me when I trip. It's unexpected. I hate it. I mean I will be walking around and the next thing I know I am laying face down on the pavement. I lie there for a bit in shock. You would think since I have been walking for 17 years I would no longer trip over my own feet. However it happens on a regular basis. My body isn't as smart as I think it is. 

I have learned to play it off like nothing happened. Or make a joke about it. Try not to make myself seem as stupid. But I trip as much as my jokes fail. It's more often than you would think. 

I got a way to look at it though. Maybe when I trip I am actually being saved. Like a giant hawk is swooping down to lift me off the ground and fly me to it's nest to get torn to pieces by it's man eating children. But because I tripped the hawk assumes I'm not worthy prey. Or maybe I tripped because ants created a trap for me so they would be fed for years to come. I guess I didn't really get saved just a different demise. 

Things to do

Here is a list of things to do before I die in this particular order anything that happens out of order doesn't count

1. Get on the most wanted list

2. Befriend criminals 

3. Turns out I'm a CIA agent

4. Turn them all in

5. Receive service medals

6. Retire

7. Come out of retirement

8. Find a new world

9. Populate world

10. Lead this new world 

11. Leave them to their devices 

12. Return and become the savior of this world

13. Leave again but this time I don't return

14. Return to earth

15. Wake up

16. Realize I'm dreaming

17. Check clock

18. Stare at ceiling

19. Graduate highschool

20. That two year deal

21. College

22. Become an engineer

23. Get a job

24. Get married

25. Raise wolves

26. Raise children with wolves

27. Realize That wasn't a good idea

28. Save kids

29. Scold wolves

30. Skip town with the buddies

31. Fishing

32. Hunting

33. Tracking

34. Skinning

35. Tagging

36. Return home looking like a mountain man

37. Support children in activities

172. Grow old

173. Crack a few jokes 

174. Pretend I'm dead

175. Laugh at everyone

176. Pass away as a hero 

And there is that it's more like a rough outline of what I hope happens

Colors

Color is a wonderful thing. So many different combinations that make distinct colors so dazzling it would make your head spin. So deep and vibrant it makes it hard to look at. So dark and smooth it's like swimming in a ocean by moonlight. 

You got happy colors, sad colors, and exciting colors. Color makes an impression and stirs up emotion the likes of which is hard to comprehend. 

However they can only stir emotion if they are put just so in a painting or drawing. It takes trial and error. But eventually a masterpiece is created wether it was made by a master or not. 

Let's pick up our paintbrushes get out our colored pencils our crayons charcoal or chalk. Let's make mistakes. Let's start to create our masterpiece. Whatever it might be. You are the artist of your life let's start off simple with a few strokes of color. Let your imagination run and you will be happy with where you end up because you created the world around you. You are bound to make mistakes, it just happens. But you can play it into your favor and turn it into a big part of the overall masterpiece. 

It is yours after all.

Fear

Fear makes everything fade to black even my faded heart of gold like the things that matter are so hard to hold. Like the ones in a casket are the dead and cold. But I wait for the light at the end of the tunnel. Till it hits me and it was a train. 

Fear drowns out emotions and your thought process. It is incredible what people do in fear of what others can do to them or what others think of them. Fear is an unreasonable feeling. It is unreasonable but it can make a huge difference. 

Fear is a motivator. It can be a good thing but it also can be a bad thing. People that let fear control them only find more fear. You should use the fear you feel to make a difference use that fear for good. Let it motivate you in the right direction. Fear is a great thing. It is impossible to be fearless you can pretend but we are all afraid of something wether you want to admit it to yourself or not. 

Use that fear to inspire others let them believe you are fearless. Lead not by fear but with your fear.

One question

Can you feel me now?