Nothing is concrete

Concrete doesn't start out solid. It's runny sometimes. And lumpy. Somewhere in between it's a solid and perfect. It ends up chipping and breaking down. It turns to dust. 

I find most things in life start out runny and then become solid. It eventually breaksdown for one reason or another right when things were going good! Right when you have fancy cars in the driveway it chips away and turns to dust. 

Nothing stays the same it changes and adapts. Or it dies. Relationships, buildings, really anything created, and animals. The only thing I can think of that stays the same are numbers. And some parts of science. 

Saying something is concrete is a lie. But then again it really isn't because if everything changes the only thing not concrete are numbers and parts of science. Temporary things are beautiful and we are surrounded by things that are concrete but short lived. 

Different

Being different is normal. We all strive to have at least one thing that makes us different and makes us stand out. We want to be the black spot on a white wall. A flower in the desert. 

We sometimes become so obsessed with being different that we end up the same as everyone else. We can't help it but we strive to be different. 

Some times we are outcasts because we are different. You don't need to be though. The reason you are an outcast is because you are so different it scares people but in a good way. The people around you secretly want to do what you do and be who you are. 

We want to be different but in the end we all fall into groups that share the same differences. Slight variations throughout the group but for the most part you aren't really different than the person standing next to you. And that's why you embrace or reject their "differences"

I Want To Be

I want to be everything my parents weren't. I want to be successful. I want to go my own way and not make the mistakes they did. I want to be myself. I want to quit being alone. I want to be everything that seems to be out of reach. I want to be a hero. I want to be the best I can be at everything I do.

I can't have what I want. Well not right now at least. It's close I can feel it. I made it to the top in what I love most.  It's lonely at the top. But I love it up here. I can see so far out and around me. I can see the people trying to get to where I am. But no one seems able enough to make it the last little bit. so It's lonely up here. But I want to be at the bottom again. It's more about the journey than the final destination.

I want to be a loser so I can sympathize with the weak. I want to be the best and then the very next moment the worst. All so I can know what it's like to lose everything. Maybe I would learn to feel. I am an empty shell.

I want to be a leader. I want to teach people to better themselves. It seems pointless because I don't even know what I'm doing. I want to lead people to their destinies. I want to be that person that everyone looks up to and trusts to get them to their final goal.

Everything I want to be will make me the person I want to be.

Strong.
Resilient.
Understanding.
Humble.
A Hero.

Love

Showing love to another person is foolish. 

Mostly because I'm too busy for feelings.

I'm busy making my dreams come true.

Others give everything up for someone thinking they are "the one".

Sorry to tell you but you are wasting your time. 

Follow your dreams we are all too young for love because we still need to live our lives. 

Figure out what you wanna do and stick with it. 

Nobody should stand in your way. 

You accomplish your goals.

And then maybe you are ready to love.

I Had a Dream

I had a dream that I was flying over the mountains. Looking down at all the people I know. It was interesting to see what everyone was doing even though it didn't make a lot of sense. People were planting snakes and hanging clothes from burning trees. It didn't make sense, doesn't make sense. Maybe it has something to do with the books I'm reading. There are no snakes in my books and nothing ever burns. maybe my dreams are trying to tell me something. maybe they are saying when you see people planting snakes the world is ending so be prepared.

Who knows.
If you know tell me.
Or if you know someone who understands it let me know.

It was odd but what can you do about it. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Our subconscious is weird but I heard it has to do with something you are dealing with. I'm not dealing with much of anything. maybe it's just trying to spice up my life by making random dreams. or it's a deep seeded fear I haven't realized yet.

Only time will tell I guess.

Creativity and Childhood

Creativity is a childish attribute. As we grow older we lose our creativity and I think it is because things get hard and creativity and imagination aren't solid enough for us to hold on to. Reality sets in and the next thing you know it's hard to be creative because we have seen otherwise. It is to easy to be like everyone else.

 Why can't we all just be ourselves?

Well maybe we like uniformity. we like groups and things that stay the same. things that are solid so they don't slip through our fingers like so many other things do.

I want to go back to when i was a little kid 3 feet tall innocent and free. I remember picking grass with my friends and eating the ends like we were cowboys. Jumping over bushes and hiding in trees playing night games. I remember digging giant holes and making sandcastles. Playing with bugs and getting stung by bees with a smile on my face. Running in the streets, playing in fields, swimming till dark and playing silly games. Lightsaber fights and trampoline contests spending countless hours in the sun, rain and snow. Watching my dad play hockey and get into fights going home early and eating out.

My childhood was so much better than my life now.
Now all I do is the same thing everyday all because things got hard.
Things aren't as fun